Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Out of Sorts

      The past couple of weeks, well past month has been absolutely a whirlwind. Things have been out of sorts and with that I have been eating for convenience more and my workout schedule has been nothing short of all over the place. Anytime something changes with my food or workout routine I get all up in the air for fear of regressing, or gaining weight. I still have been counting macros and yes there has been a treat here or there..but I am proud to say that the inches have kept coming off and my weight is still coming down. Now, if I had been going hard core like normal the numbers would reflect that..however they didn't go up and in my eyes that is a win. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and am absolutely shocked at what I see...I mean..I actually have a shape that isn't round or square lol. I am getting stronger and all those are signs of progress.
Today I was pumped to go to the gym..bag in hand I get there and what do you know..I cant find my access card. So I went to another gym that I do not usually go to for lack of equipment. I do have to say I was pleasently impressed because the old me would have just driven back to the house..I would have been scared of people looking at me in a new place or been to timid to use anything. When I got there first thing I noticed was they have tons of new weightlifting equipment and some stuff from rogue as well #winning. I followed my normal plan, plus cardio and then incorporated ropes with the seconds app. Killer! Sweat dripping all over like a dude haha! You know when you leave feeling like a beast you have had a good workout.

The second that that helps keep me going when the pounds are slower to come off is the size of clothing I wear now to what I wore before I started. It is important to look for the non-scale victories (NSV). In my opinion they are just as important and a great place to look when you need motivation...I mean talk about this pant comparison. Size 24 to a juniors 13. Now..I cant wear a 12/13 in every brand..but for the most part I can. Sometimes I put my big mama pants on for fun and still am shocked at how my big ol' square butt used to fill them up. Again another reminder as to why I started to begin with.
In other no-fitness related news our chocolate lab- Ranger, had to have his tail docked today. His tail got shut in the door almost three weeks ago and this dog just WOULD NOT leave it alone. Poor thing, we tried stitches and everything else. So he is trying to get all the sympathy around here...Brantley is also devastated that his tail is gone and wants it to grow back..pretty sure it doesn't work like that son!
As I said the past month has hard in ways other than dealing with my weight loss journey. My grandfather has been sick for quite some time and on Sunday he passed away. It doesn't seem to matter how much notice you have grief is still something for me that is hard to process. In the past days and the ones to come I am keeping my focus on all the good memories and knowing that he is no longer in pain. I do have to say I have the best family and friends that have and continued to support me for this and for you all I am forever grateful. Chief, you meant many things to many people. Times like these I have to give my troubles to God, for he will guide me even when I can not see.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

My Weight Loss Story, One Year In

    As long as I can remember I have always super puffy pink heart *loved* food. Also as long as I can remember I have always had an issue with my weight, I would crash diet try the newest fad and then gain every bit of it back and then some. All of my adult life I have been overweight. In 2011 my husband and I found out we were pregnant with Brantley. Children were always in our future however I kept telling myself I wanted to loose weight before I got pregnant to avoid problems ...well guess what..I didn't! Big shock. I had not kept one promise to myself dealing with weight loss. EVER. While I was pregnant I gained around 70lbs and for someone who was already considered obese...that was the last thing I needed to do..and yet I was still oblivious to the real problem, my addiction with food. Yes  I said it. I have a problem with food. Every emotion imaginable I would eat, and eat, and eat some more. I had tons of problems while in labor with my son, most all of them stemmed from me being severely overweight. Of course at the time I made up 1,000 other excuses as to why all of this was happening. The months, even years following delivery I was unhappy, miserable, and depressed. I couldn't stand the person I had become. I was sick ALL the time, I hurt all over, and I was tired. I would sweat through my clothes and everything else was ALWAYS everyone else's fault! I was unhappy. My husband always takes pictures and snapped this gem of me...
That chair right supposed to fit two people and by the looks of it I filled that thing up with my big ol' fat butt. This...was still not enough for me to change..over the next year I began to follow fitness blogs and envied all of these amazing women accomplishing all of these amazing things. I wanted to be like them..but didn't know how. However I knew I needed to pull up my big girl panties and figure it out! My child, husband, family...they all deserved better. I deserved better! I fianlly opened up and told my mom how much I weighed, with tears in my eyes I felt so helpless and scared. I was 27 years old and I had to make changes, changes I was not sure if I was even capable of doing on my own. The next week I went to SNAP (our local gym) where I met Tara, someone whom I have known all my life but had never really had a conversation with. She listened, she made me set goals, and she showed me the ropes of the gym. Over the past year she has given me so much but most of all I cherish her friendship. She has been there, even when I was crying because I could not eat queso dip at a mexican restaurant (yes..legit crying over cheese). We worked out almost every day together last summer. After starting to workout I knew I needed a complete overhaul in my diet. So I started eating Paleo. My first goal was to lose 30lbs in 3 months, those 3 months flew by and that was one goal accomplished. Since then I have ran 5k's, I lift heavy, I go to yoga now 3 times a week, and I have lost over 120lbs. I now count Macros (which will be another blog post) and follow a lifting schedule. I am in the gym 6 days a week and log all of my food.
You see, I am no where near where I want to be....yes I have lost over 100lbs in a year but I feel like I have been given a new lease on life...I can run after my son, I can sit in any chair I want without it breaking, I feel like I am finally able to be myself again. I'm not sick all the time, and I only really sweat from a killer workout. For years I looked to other people to motivate me when I needed to motivate myself. I needed to love me...and for years I didn't. I was broken. But honey let me tell you..the new me has never loved living so much. My current goal is to lose 40 more pounds by the end of September and start working towards running my first half  marathon. 
Seeing this really makes me wonder...what took me so long to get to this place. I still struggle every day mentally with food and what are the right choices for me. This is so much more than a diet (that term just ticks me off). This is a lifestyle..and one that I am passionate about living.
I will leave you with this...Are you where you want to be in life? Is there something you have always wanted to accomplish? Don't wait for Monday, or a New Years resolution. Why not start now? It all starts with one choice, one day at a time. You are absolutely capable of doing anything your heart desires. It requires effort, and dedication on days all you want to do is sit on your butt...but I promise you it is worth it, and it is so rewarding. 

 Now go get after those goals!